Grab a cup of tea and enjoy a few minutes to your thoughts while reading this blog.
Before understanding the concept of self-love it is important to know what self-love within our religion.
Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) recited regularly is: “Oh Allah do not allow me to be in charge of my nafs even for a blink of an eye”
From this dua, we can understand that we cannot rely on our nafs. Our nafs cannot be trusted all the time because of its wants, evil desires and need for instant gratification.
Nafs by definition means self – if we are left with our self sometimes we can destroy ourselves and our akhira therefore we need to tame and discipline our nafs.
This is why self-love and care is considered important in Islam. It is important that our self-love shouldn’t be egoistic. This includes thoughts like thinking you are better than others, demanding love from others and giving yourself unnecessary credit. This is an unhealthy form of love which shouldn’t be practiced.
Examples of healthy self-love in real life include people who care about their physical self – getting your hair and nails done, maintaining physical fitness or treating yourself to nutritious meals. This is a lower perspective of self-love.
A higher perspective of self-love is having a high regard for your own contentment, well-being and needs. It means not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Figuring out what self-love looks like requires knowing who you essentially are. This definition of self-love corresponds with the Islamic definition of self-love.
According to Islam it is important to know what’s your origin and your purpose to practice self-love.
Self-love is knowing your purpose of creation. We are all abd of Allah and our self-love should come from worshipping. “I have not created the jinns and men but to worship Me.” (51:56). our measure of self-love should come from the question: does Allah love me?
An example of self-love in action is looking at it in the context of families. Usually women in families, especially mothers tend to prioritize their children’s comfort before theirs. What we so often forget is that our nafs also has a haq on us.
It is important to treat yourself right, empathize with yourself and be there with yourself. When you respect yourself and believe that you are worthy of everything good people around you will reciprocate this.
Another method of self-love according to the Quran is “I am appointing on earth a khalifa” (2:30
This is somebody who looks after and does good on earth. As a ‘khalifa’ on earth should serve the earth and humanity and integrate this in our regular life. When you do service in whatever you’re already doing through ihsan – your Muslim responsibility to perform perfection and beauty in your actions e.g. worship – you get 2 things:
- In duniya – Inner peace
- In akhira – Eternal bliss
Reference
Sayyed Ibn Tawus, in his book Mehaj-ud-Dawaat, has narrated https://www.duas.org/mobile/dua-short-powerful.html#top dua 12
